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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I don't get it...
Phil and I have been thinking about adopting. Well actually, we have always figured that we would adopt at some point, but I mean, we have been thinking of starting the process now.
We start looking around and make a call to see what steps are involved. First, we need to have a home study done. No problem. So, I call the agency recommended to us by the state. The lady is very nice and we have a lengthy conversation about the steps involved and a little about the kids waiting to be placed. (very, very sad btw : ( )
The steps are as follows:
We set up a time for someone to come out to our home and meet with us and tour the home.
We start the mountain of paperwork involved in adopting.
They start the background checks and such.
We have to attend the adoption classes.
They write up our "home study."
We look at children and let them know of any who interest us.
They send the agency who has the child our home study and they make a plan to meet with us and determine whether we are a good fit for this child.
If not, we look for another child. If so, we then get to meet the child.
We continue with visitations until they feel the child is ready to be moved into our home.
The adoption becomes final and the child comes to live with us.
Doesn't sound too bad. However, there are some problems... Mainly the adoption classes.
I certainly have NO problems attending these classes. However, they make it SO incredibly difficult for us to do so. : ( I'm sure some of you know that we seriously considered adopting a little boy a couple of years ago. The reason we decided not to proceed is for the same reason. The adoption classes. : (
The classes are 1 night a week, 3 hours a night, (6pm-9pm) for 9 weeks. They are held in a location that is approx. 40 minutes from our house so we would really be gone closer to 4 1/2 hours or so. I wouldn't even mind that. Here is where I get frustrated.
They don't allow children to attend (which I can sort of understand) and they provide/offer NO childcare. Nothing. So, we are left to attempt to find someone to watch our children for a minimum of 5 hours every week for 9 weeks. Oh and during bedtime!
If I were even to consider leaving my children, which I have a very hard time with, who on earth would we ask to watch them? I suppose I could pay someone but still. (and I don't feel comfortable with that either) Ugh! It is such a pain. : (
Then the next classes don't even start until March!!!
I just don't get it. I asked the lady how many children they placed last year and she said 16. 16!!! Do you have any idea of how many kids are currently in foster care? Ugh! Maybe, if they were a little more accommodating and offered more classes they would be able to place more kids. :( I don't expect them to pay someone to watch my kids. Actually, I wouldn't even be interested in that, but I was telling Phil, there should be some sort of option for parents such as us. Like we could pay an additional fee to have a social worker come to our house and give us the classes. Something!
:: sigh :: So, now I don't know what to do. I feel like we are loving parents who want to help and provide a loving home to a child who otherwise may not have one and we're being held back because we don't feel comfortable just handing our kids over to someone else to watch. I know it may not seem like a big deal to some but to me, it's HUGE! I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have left either of the girls with anyone other than Phil. I just don't feel comfortable with it. : (
She is sending us some information and we can contact our assigned social worker in Jan. I guess we will have to pray about it...
We start looking around and make a call to see what steps are involved. First, we need to have a home study done. No problem. So, I call the agency recommended to us by the state. The lady is very nice and we have a lengthy conversation about the steps involved and a little about the kids waiting to be placed. (very, very sad btw : ( )
The steps are as follows:
We set up a time for someone to come out to our home and meet with us and tour the home.
We start the mountain of paperwork involved in adopting.
They start the background checks and such.
We have to attend the adoption classes.
They write up our "home study."
We look at children and let them know of any who interest us.
They send the agency who has the child our home study and they make a plan to meet with us and determine whether we are a good fit for this child.
If not, we look for another child. If so, we then get to meet the child.
We continue with visitations until they feel the child is ready to be moved into our home.
The adoption becomes final and the child comes to live with us.
Doesn't sound too bad. However, there are some problems... Mainly the adoption classes.
I certainly have NO problems attending these classes. However, they make it SO incredibly difficult for us to do so. : ( I'm sure some of you know that we seriously considered adopting a little boy a couple of years ago. The reason we decided not to proceed is for the same reason. The adoption classes. : (
The classes are 1 night a week, 3 hours a night, (6pm-9pm) for 9 weeks. They are held in a location that is approx. 40 minutes from our house so we would really be gone closer to 4 1/2 hours or so. I wouldn't even mind that. Here is where I get frustrated.
They don't allow children to attend (which I can sort of understand) and they provide/offer NO childcare. Nothing. So, we are left to attempt to find someone to watch our children for a minimum of 5 hours every week for 9 weeks. Oh and during bedtime!
If I were even to consider leaving my children, which I have a very hard time with, who on earth would we ask to watch them? I suppose I could pay someone but still. (and I don't feel comfortable with that either) Ugh! It is such a pain. : (
Then the next classes don't even start until March!!!
I just don't get it. I asked the lady how many children they placed last year and she said 16. 16!!! Do you have any idea of how many kids are currently in foster care? Ugh! Maybe, if they were a little more accommodating and offered more classes they would be able to place more kids. :( I don't expect them to pay someone to watch my kids. Actually, I wouldn't even be interested in that, but I was telling Phil, there should be some sort of option for parents such as us. Like we could pay an additional fee to have a social worker come to our house and give us the classes. Something!
:: sigh :: So, now I don't know what to do. I feel like we are loving parents who want to help and provide a loving home to a child who otherwise may not have one and we're being held back because we don't feel comfortable just handing our kids over to someone else to watch. I know it may not seem like a big deal to some but to me, it's HUGE! I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have left either of the girls with anyone other than Phil. I just don't feel comfortable with it. : (
She is sending us some information and we can contact our assigned social worker in Jan. I guess we will have to pray about it...
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